"A Mother's Book of Secrets"

So... I am going a little crazy because my lucky-duck friend has my camera with her in Europe. So no pictures of the cherubs for the last two weeks. I'm going to go on a picture BINGE when I get it back, I think. And be very jealous of it (and of Rachel) because they have seen much more of the world than I have.

Anyway... because I have no camera, I thought I'd share with you my new love. It is a book. My mom sent it to me in the mail after hearing about a particularly rough day I was having, here in the "trenches" with my two "babies".

It's called "A Mother's Book of Secrets". It's from Deseret Book. It's by Linda Eyre and Shawni Eyre Pothier. It's amazing... and just what I needed.





I have highlighted almost every page in the first 1/2 of the book. The 2nd half is wonderful too... but is written for a little bit older children than mine. Anyway... I just wanted to share some of my favorite parts because they were so good, they made me cry. They made me soooo grateful to be a mamma, temper-tantrums (on my part and on Dominic's) and all. So here's my first "Awwww..." moment, the author (Shawni) of this book is quoting Pulitzer Prize-winning author Anna Quindlen, who writes about motherhood:

"The biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make... I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of [my children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on the the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and rthe getting it done a little less."

Then the author of my book states...

"I remember the moment her words became some of my favorites. I was pregnant and had two young children only fourteen months apart. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't keep up. Without fail, our two babies seemed to need opposite things at exactly the same time. I found that as much as I was in love with these kids, I was chock full of the "I can't wait untils." I couldn't wait until Max could just feed himself or until Elle could sit up and entertain herself for a second. It seemed to me that it would be pure heaven when I could sleep through a night uninterrupted until 7:00 in the morning.

I had been skimming through my Newsweek, trying desperately to catch a glimpse into the real world - that world had become foreign to me in many ways ever since I took on the title of Mother. Amongst the articles about politics and world affaris was Ms. Quindlen's article.

As soon as I read the above excerpt, tears came pouring down my cheeks. Yes, I'm sure some pregnancy hormones were involved in my outburst, but most of it was the pure realization that I wasn't living in the moment enough. Sure, the trenches of motherhood I was slogging through at that particular time in my life were deep. I couldn't see out. There was no light whatsoever at the end of the tunnel (at least not on that day). But when I came to that paragraph I was struck with the thought that I needed to find the light in my trench of motherhood. I needed to soak up my babies. Because if Anna Quindlen was wishing she'd cherished the moment a little more, I was sure I'd be right there with her if I didn't get my act together and enjoy the now a little more. Her trenches were gone... nothing but a faded memory. Mine were still deep, and I was going to live it up in there."

Ok... there you have it. Wanna go buy the book now? Crying? Or was it just me? This little excerpt has totally changed my outlook on life and on my sweet babies in the last couple of weeks. Thanks, Mom.