Sharing Girl Things

Ok... so part of this post might be a little too much information, but it's so funny, I have to share... even at the expense of my pride.

Dom is 3 years old, almost 4... and after a bit of a speech delay, I am finally now able to enjoy all the funny things that kids say when they are younger because he is finally using great sentences. I am laughing at his funny quotes all day long.

So, a few days ago I was combing Dominic's hair on my bathroom countertop as we were getting him ready for school. He noticed a package of pantyliners I had just bought, sitting on top of the countertop.

Dom: Mom, what are those?

Me: Oh, those are called pantyliners.

Dom: Why they for?

Me: Well, they help Mommy so she doesn't pee her pants. (Okay, that's the embarassing part... this is my 3rd pregnancy and... oh gosh, I pee. When I cough, laugh, jump, run, etc. So let's move on...)

Dom: Ohhhhhh. (said in a very thoughtful-enlightened tone) I want one!

Me: Nope, sorry. They're just for girls.

Dom: Awwwww!

Me: Sorry.

15 seconds later...

Dom: Mo-ooom, I want one.

Me: Sorry Dom, they're just for girls. Look, they're wrapped in PINK... pink is for girls. (Just my way of explaining it to a 3-year old. Nothing against boys and pink.)

Dom: Awwwwwww!

Me: Sorry, bud.

Then, having perfected his combover... I hefted him off the countertop. He looked at me, then at the package of coveted pantyliners... and then he snatched two of them out of the pack and ran like the wind away from me and out of the bathroom with the stolen goods.

I heard his little footsteps tear across the living room and head down the stairs, so I followed him at a distance, to see what he would do with his loot. I made it 1/2 way down the stairs when I heard him talking, breathlessly, to Damon who was playing downstairs with the train table.

Dom: Here you go, Dame! It's kinda like a diaper. It helps you so you don't pee your pants. Here... hold it on your pe*is, like this.

Dame: Uh-kay Dom. Here... hole it on yah pe*is, yike isss!

(Oh-that's a little embarassing too... my boys use the anatomically correct name for their parts. I accidently told Dom what it was once when he was really little and not really committing much to memory... he asked me what it was and I was caught off guard at his directness...and, well... he totally committed it to memory. So there you have it. When I try and tell Damon it's his "private part", Dom promptly corrects me. Whatever.)

At this point, I'm like, "Okay, I've got to see this." So I walk around the corner, laughing, and reveal myself. Dominic and Damon are playing trains with one hand, and both of them are holding a fully wrapped pantyliner to their crotch on the outside of their pants in the other hand. Business as usual.

Me: Dominic! What are you guys doing?

Dominic: (Giving me a stern look and talking to me in a disapproving tone...) Mom, you have to SHARE girl things! We don't want to pee our pants either!